(Set: $stoke to 10)
(Set: $fingerboys to 0)
Ey we going climbing
[[ the crag]]
[[low]]
[[medium]]
[[high]]
''current stats''
Stoke: $stoke
Finger Strength: $fingerboys
{
(set: _roll to (random: 1,6) )
(if: _roll <= 3) [(set: $fingerboys to it +1)
Success, gain a finger strength]
(else:)[
(set: $stoke to it -1)
Damn bro, stoke loss]
(display: "Stoke Check")
}
{
(set: _roll to (random: 1,6) )
(if: _roll <= 4) [(set: $fingerboys to it +3)
Success, gain 3 finger strength]
(else:)[
(set: $stoke to it -3)
toe slip, 3 stoke loss]
(display: "Stoke Check")
}
{
(set: _roll to (random: 1,6) )
(if: _roll >= 6) [(set: $fingerboys to it +6)
Success, gain 6 finger strength]
(else:)[
(set: $stoke to it -4)
dry fire, 4 stoke loss]
(display: "Stoke Check")
}
you whipped and died
(if: $stoke > 0)[
(display: "statistics")
[[ the crag]]
] (else: )[
[[ending]] ]
[[Cody: dude, dirtbag, commitment issues.]]
[[Stacy: girlie, granola, has 3 tattoo artist friends]]
[[Fern: not a binary, edgy af, possibly felony charges]]
(Set: $fingerstrength = 6)
(Set: $muscle = 10)
(set: $stoke = 5 )
(set: $rizz = 4)
You complain about having large hands in front of women, +6 finger strength.
GYM, +10 muscle.
Your friend group is 4 identical dudes, +5 stoke.
You claim to fear women but truly you fear intimacy, +4 rizz.
[[Thursday mid-afternoon indoor training session]]
(Set: $fingerstrength = 7)
(Set: $muscle = 7)
(set: $stoke = 7 )
(set: $rizz = 7)
Your hands are delicate yet rough, allowing you to pull hard and rifle through vintage clothing, +7 finger strength.
You are in good shape despite having bad diet and workout routines, +7 muscle.
Nothing but true girlie vibes sustain you a la photosynthesis, +7 stoke.
You make jokes about wanting to date a woman but find flirting with one impossible, +7 rizz.
[[Thursday mid-afternoon indoor training session]]
(Set: $fingerstrength = 9)
(Set: $muscle = 4)
(set: $stoke = 5 )
(set: $rizz = 8)
Your fingers have been busy, +9 finger strength.
The gym has men in it, +4 muscle.
You have anxiety, +5 stoke.
You're hot but also awkard, +8 rizz.
[[Thursday mid-afternoon indoor training session]]
Stat List
$fingerstrength
$stoke
$muscle
$rizz
$mythrilclimbinggauntlet
$ididcokeYou enter your local climbing (grinding) gym. It's 3 p.m. You left your job early, you don't actually have a job that's just what you say to people when they ask how you got there so early. The warmup area and bouldering area both entice you.
[[go warmup]]
[[go boulder]](Set: $fingerstrength to it +1)
(set: $muscle to it +1)
Your body gets warm af ;), here have a fingerstrength, and a muscle you earned it.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
You see Emerald warming up a few feet away. You and her have made eye contact at least 3 times now you swear, what do you do?
[[Do nothing, women are scary but actually they love mystery this is all part of your plan]]
[[Say: "hey I know we barely know each other but you seem like a chill dude and I'm also a chill guy, do you wanna like boulder together or something"]]
[[kneel in front of her, worship her like the goddess she is, yea get on your knees, get real low you dirty little-]]You hit the floor, you're climbing great, the stoke is going. Emerald falls off her spicy tekky v6 crimp proj and falls down in front of you. She seems frustrated, but she's also so adorable when she's frustrated (ah). She turns to you innocently.
[[ignore her and pretend to be busy, women love when they look at you to only find you distracted by something else]]
[[give her beta, actually better yet, show her the whole beta by flashing her proj, you climb v17, you think some tekky v6 is going to be challenging? Nah, literally warm up on it]]
[[give her some polite suggestions and then return to your v15 overhang project and grunt sexily while doing it]]
You succesfully do nothing and finish warming up.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[go boulder]](if: $rizz >= 5)[
(Set: $rizz to it +1)
She agrees to boulder with you somehow, gain a rizz.]
(else: )[
(Set: $rizz to it -1)
(Set: $stoke to it -1)
She seems a little confused and talks about wanting to work on some projects on her own. Lose a rizz, and a stoke too actions have consequences]
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[go boulder]](if: $rizz >= 7)[
(Set: $rizz to it +2)
Your boldness is somehow effective and she nuzzles you, gain 2 rizz.]
(else: )[
(Set: $rizz to it -3)
(Set: $stoke to it -3)
Realistically that's probably the end of the game you're getting kicked out of the gym, instead she kicks you, lose 3 rizz and 3 stoke for your audacity. ]
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[go boulder]](if: $fingerstrength >= 7 and $muscle >=5)[
(set: $fingerstrength to It +2)
You demolish her proj, leaving her remarkably unaffected, but not enough to lose a rizz, gain two fingerstrength]
(else:) [
(set: $rizz to it -2)
you dry fire off the crux move, causing you to look like a cocky dumbie, lose 2 rizz]
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[finish bouldering and go eat dinner]](set: $rizz to it +1)
(set: $muscle to it +1)
She thinks you're polite af, and you go grind on your v15 overhang proj resulting in +1 to rizz and muscle
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[finish bouldering and go eat dinner]](set: $rizz to it -1)
(Set: $muscle to it +2)
She looks at you, almost hurt by your blatant ignorance, lose a rizz. But you just went and grinded out 4 pull ups so gain two muscle.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[finish bouldering and go eat dinner]]
wow dinnertime, you just had a hard sesh full of fun and flirting and you're tired. You go home, you look in the fridge and you make a decision.
[[drink approximately 3 cold beers, modelos in fact]]
[[close the fridge, smoke a joint, have some chips]]
[[make an actually nutritious dinner, responsible loser]](Set: $stoke to it +2)
(set: $rizz to it +2)
(set: $fingerstrength to it -1)
(set: $muscle to it -1)
A simple guy, i like it what can i say. alcohol is bad, but this scenario needs a positive. Gain 2 stoke, gain 2 rizz too lol. Lose a fingerstrength and a muscle because it's objectively a bad dinner.
[[go to bed]]
(set: $stoke to it +2)
Look, it's not a great choice, but it's a fun choice. Gain two stoke.
[[go to bed]]
(Set: $muscle to it +1)
(Set: $fingerstrength to it +1)
(set: $stoke to it +1)
(set: $rizz to it -1)
Gain a finger strength, muscle, and stoke, lose 1 rizz virgin, who eats healthy?
[[go to bed]]You're sleeping, that's it that's this turn. What are you dreaming about? Women? Sending? Women sending? Been there
[[violently thrash awake and go to work which we're skipping cause you don't have a job]]It's the weekend baby, the local crag boys hit you up to go try some sketchy highball boulders at the park behind the middle school. But as soon as you're gearing up to go, Emerald posts on myspace that she's headed to the Goth Babe show tonight.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[go bouldering with the boys]]
[[go to goth babe mostly for emerald but also like he's got a decent live show]]
(Set: $stoke to it +1)
(Set: $muscle to it +1)
You go bouldering with the boys, grab a stoke. The proj today is a crimpy v8, you've never worked it before but everyone wants to see you flash it cause you've consistently talked about flashing anything below v10 outdoors.
[[Send it]]
[[fake an injury and go home]]
(set: $rizz to it +1)
(set: $fingerstrength to it +1)
You go see goth babe, gain a stoke, and a fingerstrength cause Goth Babes a dirty dawg. You find Emerald and she's chilling and you're having a great time so you also chill and have a great time. After chilling and having a great time you're approached by two saphhic looking women saying nice things about your outfit.
[[fake an injury and go home]]
[[forget emerald, flirt as hard as possible with these two women object permanence is for suckers]]
[[thank them and move on with your life.]](if: $fingerstrength >= 8 and $muscle >= 8 )[
(Set: $fingerstrength to it +2)
(set: $muscle to it +2)
You flash that, literally free, no money down, gain 2 stoke and 2 muscle.]
(else: )[
(Set: $stoke to it -1)
You fall three moves into it after misreading the beta and going feet first on a straightforward climb making you feel like a doofus, lose a stoke.]
You're pumped from all that effort but don't wanna show it.
[[fake an injury and go home]]
On the way home you're accosted by a band of fantasy goblins. They look moderately strong.
[[fight em, they're literally only 5'2 I can take anyone that size, even if there's 6 of them]]
[[give up your la sportiva solutions to them as payment for your safe passage]]
(Set: $stoke to it +2)
Polite King, take two stoke. Emerald asks you to hang out after the show but she doesn't know it's past your bedtime.
[[fake an injury and go home]]
(if: $muscle >= 8) [
(Set: $fingerstrength to it +5)
(set: $mythrilclimbinggauntlet to +1)
You defeat the goblins, they drop the ''Mythril Climbing Gauntlets +5 fingerstrength''.]
(else: )[
(Set: $muscle to it -2)
(Set: $stoke to it -2)
They beat you up and use a fantasy goblin spell to extract 2 muscle and 2 stoke.]
[[go to bed pt. 2]]You give them your la sportiva solutions and they take em and run away leaving you uninjured. Coward.
[[go to bed pt. 2]]
its been a long day and you feel like that outdated tik tok reference of being eeby and needing to sleeby
You do.
You wake up the next morning, revitalized, wounds healed.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
You look at the calendar, tomorrow is the comp, todays important.
*phone noises*
what's that, it's emerald calling.
"hey, just thinking about you. Might go to the gym today, you in"
[[you should be taking a rest day but go with her to the gym anyway]]
[["nah girl, my body aches akin to how my heart aches for you, but I must choose my body today"]]
(set: $stoke to it +1)
(set: $rizz to it +1)
Okay you dirty dawg, you really care more about sexual and romantic fulfillment than your physical well being. Lowkey goated. Gain a stoke and rizz.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
(if: $mythrilclimbinggauntlet > 0) [
You arrive at the gym and start climbing with the love of your ages 19-22 life. An average looking man with new shoes notices you from across the gym and looks at you curiously. He approaches, pure focus in his eyes.
"Hello, I see you are wearing the ''Mythril Climbing Gauntlets +5 fingerstrength''. My engineering company has been working to manufacture those for years now. What's the likelihood of you trading me those for my ''Actual Steroids +10 muscle''".
[["it's high" you tell him, beginning the 10 minute process of undoing your ''Mythril Climbing Gauntlets +5 fingerstrength''.]]
[["no way jose" you tell this man whose name is most likely not jose]]
]
(else: )[
Emerald asks you about your opinions on climbing and hippie culture and it's prevalence of polyamorous relationships. This could be a trap.
[["Um, you know, people do that, I think people should do things, that they think are good?"]]
[["I'm literally dating 7 people"]]
]
(Set: $fingerstrength to it +1)
(Set: $muscle to it +1)
(set: $stoke to it +1)
(Set: $rizz to it +1)
Rest day slay. You're actually cool. Research shows that um 2% of people choose this option. I'm gonna make it objectively good. Gain one in every stat.
You probably chill all day and play a cool roguelike game or something idk.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[dinner before the comp]] (Set: $fingerstrength to it -5)
(set: $muscle to it +10)
(set: $rizz to it -1)
You immediately lose 5 fingerstrenth and in a desperate fiending state take all the steroids immediately, gaining 10 muscle. Also lose a rizz.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[dinner before the comp]]
(Set: $stoke to it +1)
He slams his 'Actual Steroids +10 muscle'' on the ground and storms off. Gain a stoke for resisting an engineer at a climbing gym.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[dinner before the comp]]
(set: $rizz to it -1)
It was a trap, she was testing you. She's monogamous af and wanted to approach it in a passive way. You should keep your guard up more often. Also you're not dating 7 people that's a lie. Lose a rizz, then contemplate the unimportance of this event to the larger narrative.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[dinner before the comp]]
You succesfully skirt around the question.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
[[dinner before the comp]]
you are eating dinner
[[3 pounds of pasta]]
[[steak]]
[[coke]]
(set: $fingerstrength to it +2)
you eat pasta, your fingerstrength grows by 2. We love carbs here.
[[Stokefest 2023]](set: $muscle to it +2)
Nice, gain 2 muscle
[[Stokefest 2023]](set: $ididcoke to it +1)
lol let's go you did coke.
*butterfly effect notification*
[[Stokefest 2023]]
It's the day of the comp, you wake up at 4 a.m (alpine start) feeling refreshed and ready to send. It's up to you to win it all today.
[[let's go ahhhh]]
(if: $ididcoke is >=1)[
(set: $rizz to it -1)
Alert! Alert! Drug test, you've done coke you felon. Beg emerald for her piss and lose a rizz. ]
First round is the bouldering round. You breeze through qualifiers and semi finals cause you're goated and find yourself in finals. You approach the first boulder, it looms over you, like a monster from legend. It's slab.
[[shit, well I gotta try it even if it's slab]]
(if: $fingerstrength >= 9 and $stoke >=8) [
(Set: $boulder1 to +1)
You flash the slab, actually cruising it with time to wink at Emerald. Enter the next round in first.
[[boulder 2]]
]
(else: )[
(Set: $boulder1 to 0)
Your foot slips on the third move, you spent 3 and a half minutes on the first section and you run out of time. Advance near the back of the pack.
[[boulder 2]]
]
The overhang looms above you. There's no feet, but it's all jugs with big dynos. Hope you've been practicing parkour as well.
[[Hippity Hoppity]]
(if: $muscle >= 10 and $stoke >=8) [
(Set: $boulder2 to +1)
You jump and grab all those jugs. Your hands are like glue, your contact strength is immaculate. Emerald blows you a kiss from the audience.
[[boulder 3]]
]
(else: )[
(Set: $boulder2 to 0)
Big swing and a miss, jumps are hard fr why do you gotta train parkour when you're a climber?
[[boulder 3]]
]It's boulder 3, the last boulder. It's all compression and weird moves. You analyze the start, it's confusing.
[[Start it normally and do your best]]
[[face the crowd and do a weird move, but you get to see Emerald]]
(if: $muscle >= 11 and $fingerstrength >=12) [
(Set: $boulder3 to +1)
Easy send, you're a climbing god.
[[results]]
]
(else: )[
(Set: $boulder3 to 0)
You gas out at the last move, you're so pumped.
[[results]]
](if: $muscle >= 11 and $fingerstrength >=12 and $rizz >=10) [
(Set: $boulder3 to +1)
Easy send, you're a climbing god. Emerald flashes you. A heart. With her hands.
[[results]]
]
(else: )[
(Set: $boulder3 to 0)
You gas out at the last move, you're so pumped. Emerald sighs but looks supportive at least.
[[results]]
](if: $boulder1 is >= 1 and $boulder2 is >=1 and $boulder3 >=1)[
(set: $cending to +1)
You win the comp. Your climbing efforts are worth it and you make enough money to sustain yourself for two weeks. Take that parents.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is <=0 and $boulder2 is >=1 and $boulder3>=1) [
(set: $cending1 to +1)
You get second place, you know what that's respectable. Stand proud, you are strong.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is >=1 and $boulder2 is <=0 and $boulder3>=1)[
(set: $cending1 to +1)
You get second place, you know what that's respectable. Stand proud, you are strong.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is >=1 and $boulder2 is >=1 and $boulder3<=0)[
(set: $cending1 to +1)
You get second place, you know what that's respectable. Stand proud, you are strong.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is <=0 and $boulder2 is <=0 and $boulder3>=1)[
(set: $cending2 to +1)
You get 5th place. Damn. Maybe climbing is bad.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is >=1 and $boulder2 is <=0 and $boulder3 <= 0)[
(set: $cending2 to +1)
You get 5th place. Damn. Maybe climbing is bad.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is <= 0 and $boulder2 is >=1 and $boulder3 <= 0)[
(set: $cending2 to +1)
You get 5th place. Damn. Maybe climbing is bad.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]
(if: $boulder1 is <= 0 and $boulder2 is <=0 and $boulder3 <= 0)[
(Set: $cending3 to +1)
You get last place. You're actually bad at climbing.
[[Make a move on Emerald]]
]Emerald rushes to congratulate you, she doesn't even care what you got. You give her a big hug and then make awkward small talk for 3 minutes. You're about to express your affection towards her when she stops and looks at you. Intensity in her eyes she says. "We can only date if you have managed to collect 8 stoke and 10 rizz. If you lack in these departments we will never see one another again."
[[oh damn make a stoke and rizz check I guess]]
[[not worth the risk just accept a fulfilling and short term friendship with her]]
(if: $rizz >= 10 and $stoke >=8) [
(Set: $emerald to +1)
You show her your stat sheet which shows you remembered your stoke and rizz stats and she swoons. You two furiously make out on the spot.
[[So what does it all mean?]]
]
(else: )[
(Set: $emerald to 0)
You forgot that your stats were insufficient. Emerald looks at you, scoffs, and says "No stoke and Rizz?" She then walks away and talks to an engineer with a mustache.
[[So what does it all mean?]]
](set: $emerald1 to +1)
Friendship era! You and Emerald become nice casual friends at your local climbing gym.
[[So what does it all mean?]]
(if: $cending is >= 1 and $emerald is >= 1) [
You won the comp and got the girl. Okay protagonist.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending is >= 1 and $emerald is <= 0) [
You won the comp, but at what cost. Who will you spend your meager earnings on now?
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending is >= 1 and $emerald1 is >= 1)[
You won the comp and have a friend. Solid week.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending1 is >= 1 and $emerald is >= 1) [
You didn't win but you did pretty damn well. Now you get to kiss a lot.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(If: $cending1 is >= 2 and $emerald1 is >= 1) [
You didn't win but you did pretty damn well. And you got a new friend. Slay.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending1 is >= 1 and $emerald is <= 0) [
You didn't win but you did pretty damn well. Unfortunately you repel women.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending2 is >=1 and $emerald is >= 1) [
You don't climb great but you're great with women. That's a win where I come from.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending2 is >= 1 and $emerald1 is >= 1) [
You don't climb great but you're great at being friends with women. That's a win where I come from.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending2 is >= 1 and $emerald is <= 0) [
You don't climb great and you're also lowkey bad with women.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending3 is >=1 and $emerald is >= 1) [
You know climbing maybe isn't your thing. But you know what is your thing? Game, you're dripping with it.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending3 is >= 1 and $emerald1 is >= 1)[
You know maybe climbing isn't your thing. But friendship is, go find the one piece. (That's a funny anime reference alluding to the power of friendship)
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
(if: $cending3 is >= 1 and $emerald is < 1) [
So you can't climb well and you got no game. Congrats you are just like everybody at my local climbing gym. #gottem.
Fingerstrength: $fingerstrength
Muscle: $muscle
Stoke: $stoke
Rizz: $rizz
]
You are a rock climber. You want to win Stokefest 2023. You wish to win the heart of your one true climbing crush, Emerald.
[[Choose your character]]
(set: $rizz to it -1)
They are together. Also they're not into you. You waste time which you could've spent flirting with Emerald, lose a rizz. Emerald asks you what happened.
"Um, nothing."
She says she saw you walk off and talk to some people.
[[fake an injury and go home]]
↶↷You are a rock climber. You want to win Stokefest 2023. You wish to win the heart of your one true climbing crush, Emerald.
Choose your character